Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Week 1: Oh Boy!

Weight: 239.8

So this is it...week 1. The worst week of life, so it seems! I woke up this morning with ultimate dread remembering the oatmeal and fruit cup awaiting me downstairs. Mmmm breakfast. I drove to work this morning and passed a McDonalds and a Tim Hortons and I swear they were calling my name! What I would not give for an egg mcmuffin and a donut! BUT I continued driving and parked quite far from work and walked the rest of the way. My mood started to lighten as I was walking. I thought to myself, "Ok, I am able to pass the fast food places without automatically turning my blinker on and turning into the drive thru. This is a good thing!" It was actually surprising considering my love for fast food! Love or obsession? I have yet to figure that out. Its not the convenience of the food that is so compelling ( I dislike cooking), but the fact that it tastes so forbidden! I know so many people say how disgusting and greasy it tastes, but I can't even tell.Wait! That reminds me...that is one of the reasons I need to lose weight and eat healthy. I cant even taste what is unhealthy!

With that said, perhaps when I start eating healthy foods my taste buds will go back to normal? Let hope. I have tried pretending lettuce is a piece of pizza or something else bad..but my imagination does not control the taste. I am not against or dislike healthy foods, some I enjoy quite a bit. But it seems I am attached to junk and cant get enough. Like I am addicted to it and will stop at nothing to eat it all the time. Its craziness and it scares me!

I was eating lunch today (the worlds smallest ham sandwich) and I tried to eat it slowing and not gobble it up in two bites. I noticed after I finished it and the small cube of cheese that I was still hungry...what I did not notice right away was that my mind was hungry, not my stomach. Once I stopped some of the million warnings being sent by my brain to my stomach, "Eat more! There is a muffin in the staff room! Do it, you need it!", I realized that all of my eating is not because I need it, but because I want it. I cant remember the last time I felt physically hungry. Actually, I do not even know if I could tell the difference. It seems my mind is saying I am always hungry. " You just finished a meal, have another!" Have they invented and on and off switch for the brain? Anyone know the cost?

That's it! I have decided...the brain and the stomach will be locked in a room every day of this journey until they learn to get along. They will, won't they? Oh boy!

Be well!


  1. Kudos to you for passing on the McDonalds. Those are traps full of calories and fat. I pass by Starbucks, McDonalds, Subway and Burger King all before I get to work and I do my best to avoid them. I do treat myself to a Starbucks coffee on Friday if I've had a good week.

    Hang in there! Let's motivate each other!

  2. The beginning SUCKS! Are you following a specific program - I "follow" weight watchers but I dont pay to go to meetings or anything? Are you keeping a food journal or aiming for a certain calories. Make sure you are doing lots of high fiber filling foods. Are you eating small meals throughout the day? I try to have something every 3 hours. Gives me something to look forward to.

    Also helps to carry a water bottle with you to encourage lots of water.

    Are you excercising at all - walking maybe? Not sure what you do for a living but maybe you can walk during lunch while you enjoy that super small sandwich :)

    Looking forward to following your progress. If feels like just yesterday I started and let me tell you - once you start feeling and seeing a difference it gets alittle easier!